


Special to Me

by xokilljoyz



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Mikey Way, Asexuality, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Protective Ray, References to Depression, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:53:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28066554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xokilljoyz/pseuds/xokilljoyz
Summary: "There's nothing wrong with you," Ray was quick to interject, sitting forwards. He practically scrambled to take hold of Mikey's hands, forcing him to look at him... what he saw in the boy's eyes was nothing but pain, "Dude, I think that's awesome... there's nothing.. nothing wrong with you. If that's how you feel ㅡ that you're asexual ㅡ then embrace it. Even if you've felt another way in the past, or if you think you may feel differently in the future, then embrace it; it's about how you feel now, about what you want now. So long as you're not destroying yourself, then it doesn't matter; you're valid. Perfectly so. Sexuality can be fluid, and a fluid sexuality is just as valid as a fixed one."
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way, Ray Toro/Mikey Way
Comments: 13
Kudos: 15





	Special to Me

**Author's Note:**

> Had the idea floating around my head for a while. Ik this is sorta word vomit, but I'm glad I was able to get the idea out in some form.

His body was shuddering with each shaking breath, any hope of figuring himself out having been long since shattered. The man's eyes were stinging and puffy, his heart beating out of his saddened chest as he leant his chin against his forearm. Glass of booze in hand, he listened as his speakers emitted the drab sounds of whatever band was playing, by now. Mikey had kind of lost track of how long he'd been sat at his desk and getting nothing done. He was just so.. so conflicted; he didn't know what he was, anymore... and he'd thought he'd had it all figured out. It was a horrifying experience to have to go through ㅡ he felt discombobulated... that was the word: discombobulated.

For the moment, he'd let Ray into his house. Just for a moment, he'd said. Just for a moment.

Hopeless was another thing he felt. He felt as though he couldn't do it. Emptiness drifted through his thoughtless mind, as if a tumbleweed would through a desert. The feeling was almost comforting, but he hated feeling this way. Hated the lack of thought, concentration. He fiddled with his pen mindlessly, almost like he was being controlled by another being. His mind continued to walk down this empty road, waiting to see something, to be saved. Just when he thought he had found something, it drifted away, rolling along the waves of hopelessness.

Having grabbed what he'd needed, Ray had spared a moment to peek his head through Frank's bedroom door. It was difficult not to notice the way his friend had been acting over these passed few months, yet he didn't want to push him; didn't want to force him to say anything he didn't want to... and that was difficult for Ray. Difficult to leave Mikey the way he was because something was obviously bothering him. Softly clearing his throat to make his presence known, the man mumbled, "Thanks for letting me get my stuff... see you, tomorrow?"

"Might do," Mikey hummed. "All depends on whether or not I'm busy."

"Alright," Ray nodded in understanding, tentatively stepping inside before putting a hand to the younger's shoulder. He gave a reassuring squeeze, no words needed.

Mikey just felt so useless.. so lonely.. so pathetic. He felt broken; like he wasn't meant to be. He wasn't at all like anyone he hung around; his brother had a boyfriend, who... often sexiled him from his own room... and Ray at least had romantic and interests at some point ㅡ but where was Mikey over on this scene? He just didn't fit in.

Fuck.. Ray.

It's not that Mikey actually had anything against the man; anything but that. Ray seemed to be the only one he could really open up to besides his brother, and there were just some things you didn't tell your brother. Dragging himself to sit upright, Mikey conjured the energy to speak, voice low in volume, "Can we talk..?"

After a moment's silence, Ray nodded, "Yeah? Yeah, sure." He stepped back, seating himself on the edge of the other's bed, "What did you need?"

"I just..." Mikey shook his head, turning to face him. He leant his cheek against his palm, practically holding his breath. "Have you ever..." His voice was hesitant. "Have you ever... just felt like shit about yourself... a-and you don't even know who you are, anymore?"

Ray nodded, sitting with one leg over the other, "Yeah... yeah, I know the feeling."

Mikey swallowed, oblivious as to just how tense he really was, "H-Have you ever... just felt... like you're different from everyone else? I-In a way that's not normal?"

"You've..." Ray paused. "Been feeling like this for a while?"

Mikey nodded.

"Well..." The older wet his lips out of habit. "We're all unique.. but.. I suppose it's a bit more than that, isn't it?"

Mikey nodded once more, as if he was afraid to speak any further.

"So, what's on your mind?" Ray spoke softly, and in a hushed tone.

The younger shied into himself for a moment, pulse quickening as he tried to listen to the music that had blurred and distorted; Mikey couldn't make much sense of it, now ㅡ likely due to his nerves.

Ray sat in silence, awaiting his response. Not all all was he pressuring the other; his gaze was gentle, warm, welcoming.

"I think..." Mikey muttered. "I..."

The older, tucked a piece of feral hair behind his ear. "Take your time... you're alright."

"I-I think I'm..." Mikey swallowed thickly, now holding his head in his hands. His voice cracked, audibly, as he followed up, "I-I think I'm... asexual." But still, Mikey didn't know. He felt broken; like he wasn't meant to be ㅡ this wasn't normal.

The atmosphere thickened, but Ray wouldn't let it get awkward. "Is that what's been getting you down..? A-All this time..?"

"There's something wrong withㅡ"

"There's nothing wrong with you," Ray was quick to interject, sitting forwards. He practically scrambled to take hold of Mikey's hands, forcing him to look at him... what he saw in the boy's eyes was nothing but pain, "Dude, I think that's awesome... there's nothing.. nothing wrong with you. If that's how you feel ㅡ that you're asexual ㅡ then embrace it. Even if you've felt another way in the past, or if you think you may feel differently in the future, then embrace it; it's about how you feel now, about what you want now. So long as you're not destroying yourself, then it doesn't matter; you're valid. Perfectly so. Sexuality can be fluid, and a fluid sexuality is just as valid as a fixed one."

With a brief sniffle, Mikey looked into Ray's warm gaze. "H-Have you been reciting this..?"

A light chuckle, "You know I'd never think any less of you for who you are. You're an amazing person, and I'm so grateful that I've gotten to know you over the years."

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always appreciated. Feel free to request anything if you like.


End file.
